Viewing the local antiquities

For those of who remember the '70s 

The highly slack [ahem] Trojan "X-Rated [ahem] Box Set is a must-have.

Shrewish girls just in from the country, lubricious DJs, cheesy sound effects, Rastafarian patois, the almost-sound of fireflies in the studio yard in the hot still night, and those thick and gummy bass lines—it's all here, just like you remember it—except much, much dirtier. The heavy beats will let you know where you are coming from and going to.

The lyrics are even better than the moaning and groaning. There are so many to choose from: Stranger and Gladdy's How your panty get wet? ("I was watering my garden! You can ask mama..."); Lloydie and the Lowbites' massively tight Fatty, Fatty ("Work it whichever way you want to, whoa-ah Fatty..."). But my lyrical favorite is Matador and Fay's novelty item Grand National:

We are back at the Grand National Sex Park, and this is the rundown of the horses: 1. Jockey Shorts, 2. Big Dick, 6. Legs Wide Apart, 7. Silk Panty, 8. Miss Brassiere, 9. Kotex Rubber, 3. Sweet Water, and 9. A Pregnant Woman.

And they're off to a wonderful start! Jockey Shorts is off in a rush,
followed by Silk Panty, and Big Dick in the middle of the track ...

But I don't want to give away the climax.



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