Viewing the local antiquities

by Susie Bright I typed "whores" into Googlism and got this result:
  1. whores is funky by robert shaw
  2. whores is the humorist's howl of bitter laughter at the entire bloated
  3. whores is funky by robert shaw
  4. whores is the humorist's howl of bitter laughter at the entire bloated
  5. whores is connected to the following things
  6. whores is connected to because
  7. whores is a log
  8. whores is annoyingly ridged
  9. whores is a group of or pertaining to dirty whores led by the first lady of dirty whores
  10. whores is the state capitol
  11. whores is the first online 'zine for all fans of that 70s show to bond and use the word 'whore' without being smacked
  12. whores is proof that pj o'rourke has a love/hate relationship with the united states government
  13. whores is interesting
  14. whores is stunning
  15. whores is a group of individuals dedicated to experiencing the very best in wines
  16. whores is your one
  17. whores is both a porn site and a guide
  18. whores is an adult site with graphic sex
  19. whores is available at
  20. whores is the houseband performing in the purgatory every night
  21. whores is a song about people
  22. whores is fun
  23. whores is most likely
  24. whores is killing
  25. whores is the correct name
  26. whores is that they have their own little "circle" of people who agree with them about everything they say
  27. whores is what the scene has been in dire need of for a longtime
  28. whores is fun"
  29. whores is a
  30. whores is a joyride through san francisco's butch scene that takes gleeful aim at quentin tarantino's overblown
  31. whores is the biggest webcam portal on the entire internet
  32. whores is the best it can be
  33. whores is exactly the sort of track
  34. whores is work of true genius
  35. whores is striking
  36. whores is easy
  37. whores is funky
  38. whores is an attempt to understand the working of government
  39. whores is no longer deemed suitable for a band who`s musical style had now
  40. whores is my webclique for people who own at least three domain names
  41. whores is linear and informative
  42. whores is wrong
  43. whores is murdered and mutilated
  44. whores is that our prices are too low
  45. whores is an ancient one
  46. whores is a confusing work; mamet wants the audience to be less concerned with who did what to whom than with who felt what and why
  47. whores is beyond belief
  48. whores is limited by the adult check ® system
  49. whores is glamorous in some aspects
  50. whores is a little better
  51. whores is when they tease you with the promise of something great in the members area by showing provocative poses or blurring
  52. whores is still in first yay
  53. whores is beyond me
  54. whores is a cannibal
  55. whores is the loveliest
  56. whores is more apt even than it seems
  57. whores is my favorite song
  58. whores is full
  59. whores is tiresome
  60. whores is a forgotten chapter for us now
  61. whores is
  62. whores is to take money from the whole family
  63. whores is finnish band who play "death
  64. whores is good
  65. whores is a one off thing
  66. whores is an entertaining book that aims to explain the american government
  67. whores is one of the highlights and the tracks just keep on coming with you&me and this is where i stand real gems
  68. whores is a great idea
  69. whores is entirely dependent upon whom one asks
  70. whores is a log book of a ship of fools on a quest for lost meaning

I don't know how to choose a favorite from so many; perhaps 15, 27, 56, and 70 would be my top four.

UPDATE Interestingly, this post seems to have moved VLA near the top on this Yahoo search.


Tags: .

I think that I shall never see 
a poem as lovely as a tree.


Yeah, like that wasn't obvious.


Friday pussy blogging 

The Virgin Slut explains how she stays that way:

My Pussy, My Friend

Although I have known her all my life, Pussy and I have not always been best friends. My first memory of Pussy was at two years old. I had secretly been playing with Pussy instead of taking my afternoon nap, and Mother was furious when she found out. Mother forbade me to play with Pussy. I liked Pussy, and I did not understand why she was corrupt, but Mother explained that Pussy was dirty and I would be too if I associated with her. I abided by Mother's rules because I was a good little girl, and I thought that grown-ups knew better. Pussy came knocking on my window several more times, but I would always ignore her. I am sure Pussy was hurt by my sudden indifference, but I refused to disobey Mother, and I couldn't very well tell Pussy the truth.

I would not kiss and make up with Pussy for several more years. During my childhood years I came to believe that Mother was right about Pussy. Indeed, Pussy was a dirty girl. Sometimes she was smelly. Sometimes she couldn't control herself and would wet her bed. Sometimes she would even wet herself if she laughed too hard. All this meant that Pussy did not have any friends. She was all alone. I think poor Pussy must have know how awful she was because she did her best to disappear from the world, and I rarely saw her.

Eventually, Pussy had to deal with the world, and at the worst possible time.

Puberty was not kind to dear Pussy. Many people go through an ugly phase during this stage, and Pussy was no exception. Everything seemed to happen overnight, so Pussy had no time to adjust. Pussy's classmates disturbed by these changes too, for puberty arrived earlier for Pussy than it did for them, and as if that wasn't enough for the poor little girl to deal with, she also had to put-up with there constant teasing. How was she to know why she had hair down there? Children ask the silliest questions, and to avoid them she made every excuse to stay out of the changing rooms when other girls were around.

The teasing was not the worst part though; the monthly visits from the Smelly Red Mammoth were. Those were the days when Pussy cursed herself for being born female. She came to despise her sex and to view it as a burden. The Smelly Red Mammoth would gobble up all her haemoglobin, feed her poison apples that gave her stomach aches, and bash her neurons, making her judgement cloudy. The monthly visits were hell and Pussy was forced to play the part of the devil.

Pussy had once been a pink and perky princess, but now she felt like a lonely leper.

Luckily, nothing could break down Pussy's spirit. During these worst of times Pussy and I rekindled our friendship. It was an odd friendship, because we had grown to be opposites. All the difficulties that Pussy had endured had made her tough and very introverted. Pussy shied away from people, especially from boys, and turned her attention to books instead. In the process she developed a most desirable brain. I, on the other hand, was unscathed by puberty. In fact, puberty very beneficial to me, since it gave me my two biggest assets, the Twin Peaks of Creamyland. Suddenly, I was extremely popular and everywhere I looked, grown men were drooling at my fleeting reflection. I must admit that all the attention went straight to my head, and occupied all the space up there. However, I was what you would call street smart, and I realised that a friendship with Pussy would be advantageous to us both! Together, Pussy and I made the perfect pair. She was the brains, and I was the beauty

At first, Pussy and I had perhaps a mere partnership, but this quickly developed into a full-blown friendship, and before long we were living under the same roof, and because we were on a budget, in the same bed as well. We were as close and as loving as two friends can be, while still retaining our separate identities. I was the one who showed her how to enjoy life's pleasures. I wanted her to have fun till she was tickled pink. Being wise and maternal, Pussy took it upon herself to keep me safe, and she tried her best to curb my one toxic addiction: boys. I love boys, all sorts of boys, but especially bad boys. She did her best to limit my lecherous ways. Whenever I came back to our tiny room, drunk and carrying a horny boy on my arm, Pussy would make sure that the boy made his way home before I got carried away and got into any sort of trouble. Pussy does not trust boys. She does not like the fact that I am so loose around them; we have argued over this many times, but seeing as she is smarter, I have yet to win my case. Sometimes I think that she is a little over-protective. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't think that anyone is good enough for me.

Sometimes I think she is too in love with me to set me free.

Or does she explain it? The virgin part?

[All rights retained by Virgin Slut]


NEXT WEEK Antiquarians, if you'd like to guest post about pussy drop me a line. Coming soon: Patty, the creative spanked wife.

FRIDAY PUSSY BLOGGERS As ever DirtyTalkingGirl, Freya, whose day this is, Eden, and Patty, who couldn't wait to get started....

LAST WEEK The ever fresh Pagan Moss.

FRIDAY PUSSY BLOGGING, THE COLLECTION Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

"Sou' tack" 

Angel has stepped out to douche herself and lube for the second service:

Korean birdsong wakes the dim silence: not a twitter, a cooing comes through the thin walls: simple words, simple meanings: long swooping dipthongs accompanied by the rumble of negotiation.


"That girl is so noisy."

"I told her: When you talk I want to put on my Walkman."

"She's young and she has a baby."

And now come the cries: gasps: inhalations: moans: In the next cube she's getting it, and he's giving it to her. Though, oddly, or not, there's no sound from a jouncing bedframe, no sound from a headboard banging the wall, no slap of flesh.

"We have a sou' tack."

I look a question.

"Sound tack."



Oh! Oh!

Kneeling, head thown back, belly still, I clasp Angel's cheeks, still up her:

Oh? Oh! Ooooooh!

And still on all fours, from below, Angel speaks:

"I know what your fantasy is."


"Doing it with a soundtrack!"

"That's not my fantasy, I came too fast!"

I lay down my belly and chest down along her moist back, bend my head to kiss, Asian style, the back of her neck, her shoulders: reach both hands under her, cup her breasts, tug her distended nipples:

Still up her:

As we talked, she'd been kegeling me.


Tags: ; .

Don't. Stop. 

Stop thinking of Angel during meetings.

Especially stop thinking of kissing your way round her inner thighs and plucking that flesh with your lips before eating her: Of getting her up on all fours and kissing her cheeks before eating her from behind: Of rimming her: Reaming her: Of drooling down onto her anus for lube while fucking her doggy style then fishhooking her.

Stop planning. Not Plan A, where you jerk off before, so you don't come too fast in the first service. Nor Plan B, where you don't, so you can come in the third: Nor plan C, where when you can't come you get on all fours and shove your ass high in the air and she reaches under you: Annoints your low-hanging cock with warm oil:

Do let her do you. With one hand curled, the other impolitely pointing: The one jerking you off, the other pumping your asshole, in rhythm: Neither stops but speeds up when you start to spasm so sweetly it's painful but pinned and held firm you can't get away.

Do bring $300 for three hours because there's a lot to catch up on. And you want to drain all your come.

Don't bring $300 because with the $80 you already owe and the house money that's way too expensive.

Now that you're starting to shout when you come, don't think you should start to talk while you fuck. And don't think about what you would say:
"How is your back?"

"You feel juicier. Did you come?"

"Do you want to be on top? That's not selfish." (As long as your thighs make that sound that they make when you're thwacking yourself to a come.)

"How do you handle the drunks at 4 in the morning?"

"Are you really 37?"

"Tell me about your friend Linda. Some whores only make love to each other. Are you one?"

"Is your new apartment your new place of business as well?"

"What do you think I'm going to do next?"

"Do you like—this?"

Don't stare at the young girls.

Don't come in your pants on the commute.

Don't wonder who she's with now.

Don't think for a minute—


Tags: ; ; .

"I felt him," 
said Lan, "through his robes, when he came up behind me.

"I started to wear a sweater to church, but nobody noticed."

Habemus papam!


"The time 
went fast, didn't it?

Because you were happy."


Tags: ; .

All characters and situations fictional. Copyright (c) 2003-2007 by "John Psmyth."
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