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Viewing the local antiquities

 
 
Friday pussy blogging 


I have a sentimental attachment to the blog for which Laura writes, "I am yellow (curious)"—it was one of the very first sex blogs I read. Here she is:

i *heart* my cunt:

i am a slave to my cunt. well, that's not entirely accurate. but it's fair to say that my pussy seems to pervade most of the things i say and do. it hovers over most of my actions; it colors most of my thoughts; i feel as if i am driven to serve its needs and desires, sometimes to my detriment. don't get me wrong, i love my pussy with all my heart. but sometimes, it gets in the way of important and pressing matters—like paying the bills, avoiding arrest, and staying honest and committed. how many times have i gotten myself into a pickle because i let my pussy do the thinking?

i've bought shit i had no business buying simply because my pussy demanded it. for kicks and thrills, i bought dirk a platinum blonde wig to wear. never mind that i hadn't the money to pay for it—my pussy wanted dirk in a blonde wig, so i voluntarily committed myself to economic bondage by charging it. fuck the future, my pussy seemed to be saying, it's all about the now! and like the willing slave i was, i bowed to my pussy's wishes. i offered no resistance.

my pussy has a thing for jailbait. i meet many adorable and sexy boys who enjoy flirting with me and seeing me during my lunch hour. though my cunt is no benevolent despot, it's not always the unthinking hedonist either. instinctively, my cunt realizes that if i partake and get caught, my days of getting laid are over (and no, getting raped by prison guards who are 40 years removed from the golden dewiness of their adolescence doesn't count). so it allows me to admire from afar and fantasize to my heart's content. it knows enough not to ruin the delicate balance of cost and reward. it knows i need to function at a reasonable level in order for it to continue its existence—after all, any good parasite knows that it's foolhardy to kill its host. you just don't kill your bread and butter if you know what's good for you.

sometimes, my cunt will ignore its self-protective instincts and will try to compel me to do its bidding—no matter how potentially embarassing the consequences. it was during these rare moments that i found the gumption to resist its whims—i held fast in my conviction that i wasn't going to shoplift that playgirl magazine from the local barnes & noble, no matter how sure i was that no one was looking.

my pussy can get greedy. i have violated a sacred trust with my closet polyamorism in the past. it wants access to more than just one cock. my pussy's philosophy on cocks can be summed up quite nicely by ex-senator phil gramm's quote on guns: "i have more guns dicks than i need, but less than i want."

despite the trials and tribulations that my cunt subjects me to, i wouldn't trade my pussy for a cock, no matter what.

unless. of course, it involves squatting in a port-a-potty.

[All rights retained by Laura the tooth.]

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Tags: ; ; , and the ever informative DirtyTalkingGirl (from last week but, unaccountably, I missed it).


NEXT WEEK Pagan Moss. Antiquarians, if you'd like to guest post about pussy drop me a line.

LAST WEEK Melissa Moon.

FRIDAY PUSSY BLOGGERS Eden, Freya Brett and Hiromi, Pagan Moss, and the ever-informative DirtyTalkingGirl (from last week, actually. Unaccountably, I missed her), and Prospero (from last week, again. I'm thinking Angel being out of town affected me more than I thought).

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