Viewing the local antiquities

Friday pussy blogging

Violet Blue asks "Can we talk?" Apparently so...

She hate me
My pussy has a first name. It's B-r-i-t-n-e-y. It's okay, she can't spell. My pussy does not have a last name, for obvious legal reasons. And today I found out that my pussy can write. To my great dismay, she wrote me this letter:

Hey Violet, hihihi!

Omigawd, how are you? I'm like, totally fine and stuff. Yesterday we went for a walk and that was rilly rilly fun because you wore that black denim Dickies skirt, y'know, the one that's kinda tight but comfy and short even though you almost NEVER wash it, and I totally watched the ground go by which was kinda cool 'cause we walked through the Castro where all the gays are and I feel totally safe there, and plus the sidewalk is really clean 'cause they practically have rugs from Dax on the sidewalks. OMG -- that would be SO COOL!!! I wish they would cover the sidewalks there with Flokati rugs, that would look so neato through your panties, cuz I totally peek out your thong all the time when you're not looking. See, you're not the boss of me.

Anyway it's not like I don't have stuff to do besides hang out but it's totally time I told you the hard hard news that cotton is like soooo over. I don't want you to put cotton panties on me anymore cuz remember that other day when we were on the bed reading the Victoria's Secret catalog and we saw all those super-hot Paris Hilton "stupid spoiled whore" Guess? panties and the white trash orange polka dot ribbed boyleg briefs with the little Swarovski crystal Bichon Frisee doggies running around looking all cute and the rabbit fur pom-pom faux dingleberries in the crack? THAT WAS SO HOT!!!!! It's not that I don't like the thongs cuz I think that everything should be all separated back there, and I can't even see back that far but I don't think I want to anyway, but I don't feel like we see eye to eye on the way you should be dressing me. I'm not mad or anything but you know how I get when I don't get my way. THAT'S RIGHT BITCH ILL BRING IT!!!! Okay maybe I forget stuff, especially when you put those super cute shiny buzzy things up against me and I get all drooly. I really think my favorite toys are the ones that are pretty and pink, and I like the sparkly ones with the bunnies, too. The expensive glass ones are the sexiest and you should make lots of money so you can buy me more of them. And don't get me wrong, I really want to help you out with all those hand exercises you have to do with me when we watch TV. But I mean sometimes I just want to wear a cute little cameltoe skort or get a cool racing stripe muff wax like Jenna Jameson and I can't because you always CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF. I am sick of you shopping in those goth slut stores in the Haight and making me look like a depressing Emily Strange clutch purse when all I want to do is party and do whatever I want to all the time. Oh, and more dick please. LOLOLOL!!!

TTYL,
B.

Now I know why I use vibrators—not necessarily for pleasure, but to make my pussy shut the hell up. Thanks to gofugyourself.com for the sweet inspiration.

[All rights retained by Violet Blue.]

{NA}